Just Another Wife & Mother: August 2011

It's only 10:28. In my wild hey-day of youth, the party would have just been starting, the event would have just been planned... hey, four months ago (even on a work night) I probably wouldn't be thinking of bed for at least another hour.

And I married a non-night owl (i.e. an early bird).

I love mornings. The coolness, the crisp new air. The world is fresh. "A new day with no mistakes in it yet..."

But I'm not a morning person.

So, that's why I'm sitting on my back porch, crickets sawing around me, while my dear, sweet honey bun starts another REM cycle.

Unfortunately, at night, I start thinking. And thinking at night is not a good thing.

I lie there and thoughts start whirling through my head... "Did I close the freezer door tightly enough? The electric bill was really high this month. I wonder if that was because of the freezer door. Bills.... are we ever going to escape bills? I wonder how much longer I'll work my current job. Will I have to work forever? Will I ever get to just be a mom? What if I have a baby sometime in the next two years? We can't do that. Scott's in seminary. I'd have to go back to work. I'll have to drop my baby off at a baby daycare. I didn't plan on that. I didn't plan on a lot of things. I didn't plan on marrying the most amazing man in the world... who doesn't know where God wants him. What will he decide to do? Where wil we be? What if I don't like it?"

See?

It's very bad to think at night. All of a sudden I'm a working mom with triplets and a husband who is killing himself in a dry patch of ministry. It all happened in less than 1 minute.

I have to mentally turn myself around.

"No good thing does he withhold

from those whose walk is blameless."

"In perfect faithfulness

you have done wonderful things,

things planned long ago."*

We don't know where we will wind up for ministry.