How To: Make God Tired (in one easy step!)

Tonight I am tired.

The window unit kicks on and blows cold, wet air on me.

But I can't sleep. It's still too hot.

My husband is snoring away upstairs. Yes, he snores. Only occasionally, only very faintly, but I suspect he's acclimating me to consistent bedtime "music." Probably, by the time he's sixty, it will be like he's operating a buzz-saw right next to me every night, but I won't even notice. I'm like the frog in a pot of gradually warming water...

I have a sneaking suspicion I snore, too. I woke myself up the other night with a snort. It's only the beginning. Old age is creeping in. Soon we'll just be two peaceful buzz-saw-ers. Sleeping side by side. Amidst a cacophony of snorts. But for now...

I can't sleep. I'm tired... But no sleep.

Did you know that God gets tired?

Yeah.

I'm not joking.

God actually says, "I am weary."

(Yes, I know. Infinite power, infinite stamina, infinite control... he doesn't really get tired. But wait. He does.)

The people of Judah are beaten. Demolished. Wracked by war. In desperation, they turn to God.

And they exhaust Him.

Every day, in and out of His courts they come. Sacrifices, special feasts, sacred holidays... the whole nine yards. They do it all. You do church on Sunday morning? Good for you. Now do it Sunday evening, Wednesday evening, and reserve Friday nights for special dinners. Make Christmas bigger. Observe Easter more. Do. It. All. Do it more. Put on your holy face. Wear your fancy clothes. Serve everywhere.

And you will make God tired.

In Isaiah 1, God is done. He is fed up. His precious people? He compares them to Sodom and Gomorrah: two cities that He burned. With fire. From heaven. Yikes.

Why? Because they were off throwing raucous parties? Because they ignored Him? Because they didn't wear the right clothes? Because they forgot to visit the temple?

No.

Because they did visit the temple. Listen to all these people were doing. It's a little exhausting. One wonders when they got a vacation from all this "holiness." They were doing:
multitude of sacrifices,
burnt offerings of rams,
fat offerings,
blood of bulls/goats/lambs,
frequent appearances in His temple (so frequent and so well-attended, he calls it "trampling"),
incense,
new moon celebrations,
Sabbath observances,
solemn assembly,
appointed feasts

They were doing it all.

Isn't that what God wanted?

No.

God says, "I have had enough.... I do not delight [in this]... [it is] an abomination to me...I cannot endure... my soul hates [this]...they have become a burden to me; I am weary of bearing them."

They made God tired with their goodness.

Because, you see, God never wanted all that. He doesn't want church, and good behavior, and pious songs, and holy faces. He doesn't care how many service projects you've done or how many times you've said, "I'll pray for you."

He wants purity.
He wants brokenness.
He wants true, raw, honest repentance.
He wants life change.
He wants sin to be relinquished.
Seek justice.
Learn to do good.

Then all those other things? The church, the serving, the prayer? Well, I suspect they come quickly after the repentance. But then, when they come, they will flow from joy and delight in God, rather than from a desire to manipulate Him.

“Come now, let us reason together, says the Lord:

though your sins are like scarlet,

    they shall be as white as snow;

though they are red like crimson,

    they shall become like wool.

 

If you are willing and obedient,

    you shall eat the good of the land;

{Isaiah 1:18,19}

You don't have to do that on your own... All of that striving, all that work... God just wants a broken heart, hands wide-spread, and humility in the air. He will do the hard work of removing your sins. Just come. Just ask. Just bow down. Plead for clean. Plead for change. Plead for a broken heart. Ask to be repentant. Sometimes we don't want that. God knows. He will strengthen any desire, no matter how feeble. Just ask... Ask to be willing.

Next to me, my Bible sits open. God has been hammering me recently. Working me over. Disciplining my soul. He's asking me for tenderness, for consistency. He's peeling away layer after layer after layer of disgusting, calloused sin. And just when I think I'm raw, broken, and completely humbled, He finds another layer. It's not pretty. It's nasty. And it's really, really painful.

But this tenderness? This quiet resting in Him? This deepening understanding of my God? It's worth it. It's amazing. It's revitalizing.

Pray.

Pray for revival.

It may be brutal.

But you're going to love it.

Otherwise, please feel free to exhaust an infinite God... It's not a new game. And it's pretty easy to play.

Photo Journal {July 2014}

Motherhood is working me over.

I'm in a love-hate relationship with my current path of sanctification. I love that it involves cuddles and baby kisses. I hate that I haven't finished a chore uninterrupted in months.

My wise mother used to say, "Motherhood makes you work on patience like nothing else will."

I, in my complacent self-satisfaction, always thought, "I spend all day, every day, working with special needs children and grumpy old men on ventilators. I'm fairly confident that motherhood isn't going to be a stretch in the patience department."

But what my mama was really saying was, "Find your weakest area. See that? There? Okay... that's where motherhood is going to camp out, jump up and down, and stretch you until you're unable to do it on your own."

So, sure. Patience. Not necessarily a weakness (although even "strengths" break down occasionally in intensive parenting!).

Self-discipline? Perseverance?

Ah.... there's my soft spot.

Try being persistent when there is no fruit.

Yesterday, I tried to clean. In the entirety of my day, I painted one door, two pieces of trim, and put a load of laundry in the washing machine.

that. is. all.

How hard is it to remain disciplined and to persevere when there is no benefit? No blessing? No check mark on your to-do list? Pretty dang hard. (Pardon my Christian expletive...)

But just when I wonder if I'm growing, my son shouts, "I love you!" from across the room, Bitty Bets learns how to eat a banana (and only up-chucks once!), and I'm reminded that of all the "refining fires" I've been in, this is the best. The hardest? Yes. But the best.

So, I haven't written a scrap in months, but I'm learning bucket-loads. Two months late... here is our July in pictures. Someday I'll create again. Until then, I'm so thankful that God never stops "creating" in me!

For now... I need to go vacuum up the remains of breakfast, probably with an infant strapped to me, and a toddler "helping" with the vacuum.

TIA AND OMA CAME TO VISIT! And clearly, Bets has joined the "Tia Fan Club."

This child. She cracks me up.

I feel that we haven't had a "Bets' Faces" montage in a while.
Hopefully this series will rectify that.

Whatevs, Mom.

Ha! Isn't it silly when I act all laid-back and cool!?

I'm fairly sure that this little boy would follow "Tia" off
the ends of the earth.

Baby sis. Growing too fast. But still loving a good swimsuit-rainstorm-splash session.

We all packed up to go see Daddy on his missions trip in inner-city Philly!
Bets is ecstatic. Please, child. Contain yourself.

Thrilled to see Daddy. Clearly.

Grant's first "water ice." Midwesterners, can't really explain what this is. It's like
a glorified snow-cone. Be sure to ask for a "wuttterrr ice" when you come to see us.
(You are coming to see us, aren't you!?)

Jubes. Getting face painting on her hand. I was very disappointed
that she didn't get the tiger painted on her face. I was disappointed
that I didn't get a tiger on my face. Something about it being just for
kids... **sigh**

Two missions trip sponsors!

First bite of cotton candy. He's skeptical.

And now he's diving right in.

Julie had never had cotton candy either!
She was not a fan.
I'm not sure what's wrong with her...

There were lots of people around. Grant, as usual, was contemplative. Never
have I used a word so often to describe a child. But that's my son.

Hanging with Oma. Amidst the multi-ethnic crowd. It was an amazing afternoon!

Child Evangelism Fellowship (CEF) paired with several local churches
to host a massive "block party" in inner-city Philly. The place was packed.

The gospel stage. People clustered here throughout that day.
The gospel was shared in at least four languages. 

Everything was free. Free food, free bounce houses, free games, free puppet shows, free prizes,
free-free-free! And if you went through the gospel tents, you got a free t-shirt!

I couldn't get over the number of different ethnicities I saw. Burmese, Chinese, Hispanic...

There was so much joy, and life, and energy in this little square of Philly. My heart
nearly exploded for joy... So many people experiencing unconditional love.

Splash pad. 

Little old man, in broken English, asking about Julie's China story.

Manning the basketball stations.

There were tons of carnival games that the kids could do to earn tickets.

Our teens helped staffed these games.

So thankful that my mama and sister came to help out while Scott was gone for about
a week and a half. I was dead-dog sick almost the entire time. It's like God
knew I would need them. I love when He provides like that... :)