Of Providence, Pregnancy, and "My" Family Plan

I would have blogged one-hundred times in the past month and a half. Easily 100. Maybe even more. My life is fairly exploding with adventure and new learning.

But wee squidgee #2 is sucking up all of my energy. Every single bit.

Yes, for those of you who may not know, I am pregnant with baby NUMBER 2!!! If you're surprised, just imagine how Scott and I felt...

This announcement is not entirely true... we are hoping that "wee squidgee" will actually join us at the end of January. But who knows... he/she is due on the 25th of January-- the cusp February, so they may decide to make Mama miserable for an additional week or two.

And yes, I have been miserable. Not horribly. Not debilitatingly. But mildly, and constantly. I'm constantly on the verge of throwing up. Never in my life has food sounded so atrocious. Groaning, I'll roll over on the couch, and grab Scott's arm, "This baby had better be good!" Just as Grant was not allowed to incur any more expense/paperwork after his adoption, this baby is not allowed to make me miserable past birth...

Ah... if only parenting worked that way!

But in all reality, if I would do it all over again for Grant, I'm sure I'll do it all over again for baby #2. I'm just a wimp.

So, because I know many people want to ask (and a few actually have), I will answer the following question: Did you adopt Grant because you thought you couldn't have any kids?

This question makes me want to cry. Just look at my baby! Look at that darling head of curly tufts, that warm brown skin, and those eyes that you can just stare into forever... I love his infectious smile, his desire to be around people, and his big-fat Buddha tummy (that I worked so hard to grow!). And although we just had an epic battle over peas (He learned how to spit today!), I would not trade this adorable bundle of grace for anything.

So in answer: No. Grant is not my back-up option. He was my first option. My dream come true. Scott and I have always wanted adoption to play a huge role in our family. And I prayed that my first baby would be adopted. When God took our first baby, I learned to be thankful for many small things... and the idea of our "first" child being adopted was one of those things. I wanted that darling little soul to know that I prayed for him, that I wanted him, that he wasn't a back-up option. He was a beautiful piece of our family, which we counted on from day one. 

I'm not insinuating that other people who adopt at the end of having biological children, or who exhaust other options prior to considering adoption, are not also thankful for their adopted children. God makes families differently. And I'm so glad. I love the creativity God displays as He uses His church to raise up the next generation. I'm simply stating that this was my prayer and plan, and God was gracious. He let me keep my plan. 

We are amazed and delighted that God would choose to bless us with another little one. Every time I stop and look at my life, my tears fill, and my heart feels as though it will explode.

And then I lay back down again, and start praying that I won't vomit.