FAQ : About the Allison Adoption

Let's just be honest. The way our family is being constructed is... non-traditional.

And the questions we have gotten have ranged from mundane to down-right hilarious. For example, if I was pregnant, no one would ask me, "So, do you care what your baby looks like?" If my little biological squidgee popped out uglier than a box of rocks, no one would say a peep... They would just call him "preciously tiny," and avoid adjectives like "cute" and "adorable."

However, I recognize that adoption is not the norm, and as such, there are a multitude of questions. Since I can't answer questions about how I'm handling morning sickness, or what the pressure on my bladder is like, I'll take a stab at a few of the more common adoption questions...

How does the process work?
Paperwork. Paperwork. Paperwork. And then.... more paperwork. I'm not joking. This process is insane. Then you go through a "psycho-social genogram interview" (no, I'm not making this up), an 8 hour home-study class, and then personal visits (maybe one, maybe two) to complete your homestudy at your own house. There are physicals, background checks, TB tests... It is crazy.

Then, after collecting the mountains of data, the agency (we're using ASC in Indianapolis--more about them later) creates a bio... six pages of your information beautifully laid out with pictures.

Then you wait.

Birth mothers come to the agency and look for specific things couples have. In return, some couples are restricted as to which birth mothers they want to be shown to. All you do is sit there and wait. For someone to pick you...

How long will it take?
We have been told 3-6 months if we're adopting a little black baby, 6-12 for all other races. However, we have been repeatedly warned not to listen to the averages. Sometimes it takes much longer. Other times it takes much less time. We're planning on going active in July (meaning we will be regularly shown to birth mothers). This means we could be parents in... JULY! (or it could be July 2013!)

How much does it cost?
LOTS.

Let me say this again: A WHOLE HONKIN' BIG PILE OF MONEY.

But I can't think of a better thing to do with it! Please pray for us as we manage our financial resources during this time. We do not have this cash stashed in an account somewhere. We are stepping out in faith that now is the time, and God will help us. He has so far!

What are you asking for in your baby? (gender, nationality, etc.)
We want a baby.

That's it.

That's all.

We are willing to take any race, any ethnicity, either gender. We have agreed to the widest parameters established by the agency (disability, maternal drug use, etc). Bring on the adventure!

I would not be able to catalogue order my baby if it were growing inside me. We don't think our adoption should operate any differently. We absolutely love the fact that our family will be composed of multiple different skin colors and DNA--what a picture of the global church!

Can you not have biological children?
(Yes, people ask this.)

We don't know, and right now, that doesn't really matter. Scott and I both decided (separately, and then delighted in this common ground when we fell in love) that adoption was going to be an integral part of our future family (God willing). We know that it is possible that we may have children. But we also know the chances are not amazingly good.

I personally have always wanted my first child to be adopted... I want that child to know that they weren't a second choice, they were my first choice. I want them to know that I dreamed about their unique appearance and personality the same way I dream about what a two-year old "little Scott" would look like. We are not sad or disappointed about our family options. We are delighted with them! I can hardly wait to see what our future little ones are like!

As this process progresses, there will be more humor, more struggles, and more questions (some of them my own!), but my prayer is that through it all, the model of Christ's love will be clearly seen... We want our family to display the gospel.


May God receive all the glory.