Stop Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest, Netflix, Hulu...
And I did.
And I walked into this self-induced silence, waiting to hear God speak.
And He did.
I can't tell you what that was like. I can try. But I won't be able to. It was like a secret, month-long rendezvous with my Savior.
And it was glorious.
But I also can't tell you how hard this was. Radical amputation hurts. Doing without comfort and ease hurts.
This was a beautiful month.
And (at the risk of boring you with another list!) here's what I'm thinking at the end...
1. My sin is horrible. Deep. Dark. Deceitful. And prolific. And if you clamp down in one area, it likes to squirt out of another. I wasn't flawless at this techy fast. I would sneak the occasional Netflix episode. I had a couple of sick days that drew me to Pinterest. And even when I was perfect on the tech fast, I would find some other way to express my craving for ease... an extra piece of chocolate, a nap, wearing sweatpants for the hundredth day in the row. (Not inherently sinful, but the way I was doing them. Yikes... I was substituting physical comfort for spiritual comfort. Not okay.)
2. I can justify anything. None of the things I abstained from were in and of themselves sinful. I wasn't cheating on my husband, lying to my friends, or neglecting my children. But they sapped a little joy, stole a little time, manipulated a few thoughts... and drew me away from filling my heart and mind with Christ. All the ways I cheated, or chose to sin since I didn't have my typical comfort crutches? They weren't inherently sinful either. They just were not best. But I let them slide.
3. GOD IS UNEXPLORABLE. I feel as though I know more of my Savior and God now than I did a month ago, and the largest thing I know is that I don't know anything. The depths of the riches of our God are unimaginable. We get to spend eternity discovering Him!
3. I didn't miss Facebook. Like, seriously, not at all. I missed Instagram. I missed Pinterest. I missed my daily Netflix dose while folding laundry. I did NOT miss Facebook. At all. I'll probably evaluate whether or not I'll keep it... but... Seriously. Instead of posting a status about the drama, just leave. There isn't even any drama on my Facebook news feed, and I still enjoyed the break.
4. God knew I would need this...
Here's the deal, on the very last day of my fast, our family was hit with some heavy news. We were hurt and wounded. And the repercussions will be around for a while. But God knew that this was coming! He spent an entire month drawing me closer to him, honing the disciplines of mental faithfulness, so that when this news hit my husband, I was able to pray truth with him. And the first place I wanted to run was to God. Not to my tired husband, but to my Savior. And I like to think I helped him run to Christ along with me. I had my God to cling to. I had practiced faithfully turning my mind to truth instead of worry. It was awesome!
I mean, seriously awesome.
No one wants trial and pain, but when it comes (and it will!), and it is met with the sufficiency of the scripture and the power of my God... WOW. IT IS AWESOME.
Like, I'm totally psyched right now. I wish this storm was done, but I am so excited that God is letting me see his character in technicolor right now.
And I wouldn't have been ready for that, without these past 30 days.
I am unbelievably blessed and thankful.
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