Holiness and the Epic Battle of Sin

It is tempting, in the battle against consistent, entrenched sin, to continue I view your sin as a heinous crime--deserving death. It's a horrible act against a holy God.

So often, as the "well-churched" lady that I am, my sins comes out a little more muffled, more socially acceptable, than the sins of my culture. This week, as I earnestly sought to abhor my sins, I stumbled across this idea.

When I come up, again, and again, and again, against the same sin, my conscience is tempted to dull, my mind becomes frustrated, and my heart grows weary. I don't want to struggle for sanctification. I don't want to continue this battle.

And then, I become angry. Why do I have this sin? Haven't I been a "good" person? I've fought long enough. I should be done with this. It should be over. I just want, oh, so desperately, to be perfect! To not struggle. To find rest. I want to enjoy the benefits of a sin-free life.

But that's not what this battle is about. It's not about me. It's not about my perfection (or lack thereof). It never was. Yes, I blew it. All of humanity has blown it. We messed up. But this is not about us. If we had an inferior god, he probably would have swept something as small as eating an piece of fruit under the rug. He probably would only care about the biggies: murder, adultery, grand-theft auto... Surely, this small god wouldn't care about... fudging the truth, eating the extra piece of cake, hitting the snooze button, snapping at your spouse. This small god would let those "good people" foibles slide. After all, they're not really "sin."

Or aren't they?

This battle isn't about me, or my "tiny" sins. This battle is about the constant, unceasing attack on the holiness and reign of a GOD that is bigger than anything I can imagine. He is bigger. He is holier. He is  all-powerful. And this battle is raging at proportions and dimensions beyond my comprehension. When I hit that snooze, when I ate that cake, when I lashed out in anger, I was telling Him, "I don't care about you. I care about me." I'm saying, "You're not enough. I don't care about your glory and holiness."

I am saying that to the GOD of the universe.

It is not MY SIN (or the "size" of it) that should be the focus, but rather HIS HOLINESS.

This was never about me.