A Parenting Flow-Chart... Wouldn't that be nice?

I've been reading this book lately...

Editorial Note: I am not recommending,
nor condemning this book. I think Mr. Tripp
makes some excellent points. I also think that
he leaves certain aspects of parenting largely
untouched (i.e. grace). However, if you want
a comprehensive book on parenting... read your Bible.
You won't find all the answers in any book written
by man. If you think you have... reread it with more discernment.

Call me crazy, but two babies, ages one and under, make me nervous about my current parenting wisdom. Before Bets came, when it was just Grant, I would frequently cry outside his bedroom, wondering if I had parented well. Wondering if I had invested parenting energies efficiently. Wondering if I was modeling for my baby Christ's love and grace.

Add another child.

And my neuroses increased.

Now I have two little hearts. Two little souls. Two little bodies. To care for. To nurture. To teach. To love.

It's at once a huge blessing and an astronomical assignment.

Right after Bets was born, a friend visited and we were discussing this book. I was excited about the philosophical encouragement it gave to redeem every single moment and the challenge that my life needed to be focused passionately on a Savior before I could expect my children's lives to follow His. I thought it was hugely helpful.

She didn't agree.

With a sigh, she handed the book back to me and said, "It's okay. I guess. I just feel like he wasn't specific enough. I need to know exactly what to say and do in different situations."

I nodded. I knew exactly how she felt. And I agreed.

With a sigh, I put the book down and went on with our conversation.

But something niggled. It didn't sit right. I kept replaying this conversation over and over in my mind. There was something I was supposed to say. There was something that wasn't lining up just right...

And then it clicked.

Of course there's no manual, no flow-chart, no decision-making matrix for parenting! What a ridiculous thing for God to provide. After all, composing such a chart would be an astronomical headache. There's no way you could account for every scenario, every response, every heart motive.

But more than the logistics... if it existed, it would destroy one of the key purposes of parenting.

I'm convinced that God designed parenting not just to raise children, but to "raise parents." Total terror, a complete lack of knowledge, a desperate cry for wisdom... it pushes you to your knees. It drives you into The Word. It makes you depend on the Creator.

True wisdom, the ability to respond with grace, discipline, and forgiveness, the modeling of Christ for your children... that can only come when you immerse yourself in the Word and cry out to the Giver of wisdom.

That's why no parenting book has all the answers. That's why there isn't a flow-chart for you to follow. That's why parenting is hard.

It drives you back to your Savior.

This task is impossible.

Without God.

If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.

{James 1:5}