2015... The Year of Jubilee

"When you come into the land that I give you, the land shall keep a Sabbath to the Lord. For six years you shall sow your field, and for six years you shall prune your vineyard and gather in its fruits, but in the seventh year there shall be a Sabbath of solemn rest for the land, a Sabbath to the Lord... It shall be a year of solemn rest for the land... It shall be a jubilee for you, when each of you shall return to his property and each of you shall return to his clan... For it is a jubilee. It shall be holy to you." {Leviticus 25}

The decorations are put away. My children have opened their last gift. I've efficiently spiralized every single veggie in my fridge (Yes! I got a spiralizer! And a spring-form pan that has already be inaugurated with a turtle cheesecake, but it's less "new-yearsy" to talk about cheesecake, so I'll just focus on the veggies.)

I've potty trained a two year old. Utility sinks are a necessity in this venture. 'Nough said. I won't be one of those moms who talks about how her brilliant baby boy learned to use the "big boy potty" in four days. Nope. And I won't discuss how motivating Lightening MacQueen and Mater underwear can be. Suffice to say, we ate our weight in Skittle rewards and marked this down as a parenting success. That's all I'm saying. (I've already said too much. Apologies...)

And now we're well on our way to completing the first month of 2015.

And I'm tired.

I feel a little beat up.

2014 was a glorious, uncomfortable year.

Our dear sweet Chicken Little joined us in 2014. We had wonderful vacations. We had delightful ministry experiences. We saw family. We made new friends. 

And I was sick, sick, sick, sick.

I'm really tired of being sick. I've been chronically ill for almost a decade. This fall with mark the 10 year anniversary of my diagnosis with ulcerative colitis. 

Here's the problem with physical sickness: it doesn't stay physical. It leaches into your view of God, your spiritual growth, and how you love others. If you're super vigilant and pray oodles and bucket loads, the Holy Spirit is gracious and transforms your soul into this delightful, light-filled, happy place.

I don't have a rested soul.

Please don't misunderstand. 2014 was a wonderful year of growth. I delight to say that I know my Savior more in at the beginning of 2015 than I did at the beginning of 2014, but can I be honest?

I'm tired of fighting the battle.

My body is weary. My soul is weary. My family is absorbing my weariness by association. Our finances are weary. My housekeeping is weary. My creativity and service... weary.

Not burnt out. Not miserable. Not grudging. Not ready to "throw in the towel." Nothing so strong or angsty.

I'm just tired.

Several weeks ago, Scott and I started a fight against the drain of Sunday. We love church. LOVE IT. My little two year old son squeals with joy when it's "church day!" (This may be due to the fact that he loves his fancy church shoes, but we'll pray it tends towards holier motivations as he grows up.)

But church day is long and required reservoirs of energy. (Which are usually pretty shallow to begin with...) 

So, we began a "Shabbat." Every Saturday we work towards the goal of being done with all work by 5 p.m. Then, we sit down to dinner, hold hands, listen to a Bible passage on rest (um, there are a LOT of them. I think God thought we needed this!?), eat dinner by candlelight, and pray for our Sunday. And we realized that we NEED this. We NEED rest. God designed us to need rest.

We have a whole slew of things that we're learning about honoring God's view of rest. I'm very good at indolence. I'm not so good at actual rest.

So, we decided 2015 is our "year of Jubilee." We're going to mimic the Israelites in a modern-day way. We're not tackling any home projects. We're not buying anything new (other than necessities for the kiddies). We're not buying anything beyond what we need for groceries. We're double-paying on all debt (should be debt free by the end of the year!). We're not buying toys. We're not buying presents for each other. We're not planning any huge get-aways.

We are going to explore Biblical rest. Turns out, it's not always a cessation of labor... God designed loving others and expressing thanksgiving (among other things), as ways of gleaning rest.

This year we're actively resting.

So, welcome, 2015!

It should be a good year.

Happy Year of Jubilee, from the Allison clan! (We already look so rested...)