The Rebel That Remains, The God Who Has Won

When a sister battles.

When a "peace singer" dies.

When your children harden their hearts.

When 21 men die for the cross.

When the world comes knocking at your door, with arms filled with hurt, ugliness, and violence...

You are going to cry.

Tears will fill your eyes. Your heart will ache. And your soul will cry out "why?"

No one told me that drawing closer to the heart of God would mean more tears. I thought of peace, joy, and rest. That has been true. But I didn't know that it would also mean deeper sorrow, grieving, and nights of sobbing.

You see, when I look more closely at my God, I see the permanence of joy, while also seeing the horror of sin. I pull around me my comforts... safety, warm dinners, quiet Sundays... and I insulate myself against the sin and suffering in my world. I expect to be rested and safe. Reading of suffering makes me uncomfortable.

And in this quiet cocoon of fragile, manufactured peace, I forget the terrors of the battle.

For a while.

And when it comes roaring in, back around me, shattering my attempts at control, what am I going to do?

You see, I can look out my front door and see terror, and in my ignorance, I think that's where it stays.

But inside my soul, the same evil resides.

I have been washed.

But I am still dirty.

I have been saved.

But I'm in a world of danger.

I have been clothed in beauty.

But my sin still clings to filthy nakedness.

Sin is a powerful, wicked, forceful presence. In our world. And in me. And as I've cried out for my God, as He has become more real... and so has the evil which foolishly tries to depose him.

And as I cry out to my God to deliver us, me, the world... He gently whispers, "I already have."

I want physical safety, earthly peace, a plethora of comforts.

He soothes my tears and says, "Dream bigger."

Because my deliverance has come.

Christ.

Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ, who gave himself for our sins to deliver us from the present evil age, according to the will of our God and Father, to whom be the glory forever and ever. Amen.

We are delivered. God has already won. The painful cuttings and whippings of the present evil age? It is only an outlawed rebel who has already lost the fight.

So, through my tears... To God be the glory forever and ever.

Amen.